Not by Sight
by scripting life
Summary: Continuation of "Walk by Faith." Kate had made her decision to stand by him, but when an unexpected third party shows up, everything she thinks she knows is destroyed. She now has proof that he didn't kill their victim, but a part of her wonders if it might have been better if he did. 5.05 speculation fic gone wild.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: Welp, back by popular demand, it seems. :D The response to __**Walk by Faith **__has been simply overwhelming. Thank you all for your interest. Seriously. I was not expecting that at all. If you're here and you haven't read __**Walk by Faith **__yet, it's not necessary to understand this without reading that first, but you'll miss out on a lot of Beckett's inner conflict if you don't. __The reason I chose to make this a separate story is because I really like how I ended __**Walk by Faith **__from an artistic perspective. That fic could stand completely on its own and I just wanted to leave it as it was._

_While __**Walk by Faith**__ was a relatively more realistic approach to the episode, the coming twists are NOT what I think will happen at all. I had to write myself out of a corner from the first installment, and this is what my brain came up with. These are short chapters, but I'm hoping to get this finished before the episode airs so I'm forcing myself to update often. In the meantime, I hope you all enjoy the products of my overactive imagination!_

* * *

Disclaimer: Surprise, surprise. I finally got around to reading through the rules and guidelines and there are no regulations that state that we must include a disclaimer with our stories. As such, this is the last disclaimer I will ever write until the rules tell me otherwise. For the last time, _Castle _and all affiliated people, places, and things are property of Andrew Marlowe and company and ABC Studios. I make no monetary profit from this work of fiction about fiction.

* * *

_**Not by Sight**_

* * *

It wasn't until Castle jerked awake that he realized he'd fallen asleep.

Hard to believe he'd fallen asleep in _lockup_.

Harder still to believe that Beckett not only thought him capable of such a brutal murder, but also that he'd had an affair with the victim.

His chest felt hollow and carved out.

Guess that's what happens when the love of your life thinks you're a cold-blooded murderer and a cheater to boot.

Perversely, it hurt more to know that Beckett thought that he would cheat on her than that he was a murderer.

He knew that Beckett still had lingering concerns and insecurities about their relationship—that much had been in evidence when Kristina Coterra happened and again when they'd gone to the Hamptons—but she'd been so open in talking with him about the issues she was worried about. He'd thought that they'd really entered into another phase of their relationship where they could openly communicate with each other about their secret worries.

They'd been so good together, so incredibly amazing that he hadn't put any extra effort into soothing her of her fears.

Maybe that was his mistake.

He'd assumed that they were okay.

Apparently, there were far more lingering issues rumbling beneath their relationship than he'd ever imagined.

His musings were interrupted when the heavy metal door leading to the rest of the station grated open. He wasn't sure whether he should be surprised or not when he saw Kate—no, this was Detective Beckett, not the Kate who'd opened herself up to him so much these past couple of weeks—coming through.

"My lawyer's not here yet, Detective, so if you were hoping to trip me up with your intimidating array of interrogation tactics, I'm not talking."

Castle almost regretted the bite in his words when he saw her red-rimmed eyes. She'd been crying.

God, he hated it when she cried.

She paused in her determined stride, her mouth falling open as if to throw back a retort at him, but then she screwed her jaw shut and swallowed whatever she was going to say. He felt oddly disappointed by that.

She flicked her gaze away from him, her eyes fixing instead on the concrete floor beneath her feet.

Shame. Guilt. Self-loathing.

They were scrawled across her body language in loud, angry letters.

His hand unconsciously came up to cover his heart when it squeezed uncomfortably in his chest. He was angry at her, so very frustrated and disappointed that she couldn't seem to trust him, but neither could he stand this defeat that brought her shoulders low and made her unable to meet his eyes.

Tense silence stretched between them when she stopped before the heavy gate between them.

"It'd be so much easier if I were a different person. If I knew how to trust without reservations," she murmured, and he wondered if she were saying it to him or to herself.

He understood what she was saying. Of course he understood.

He knew her past had done a number on her psyche. From the murder of her mother to her father's descent into the bottle; from the betrayals of the two men she looked up to the most to Will and Josh and who knows how many previous boyfriends who always seemed to think their jobs were more important than she was. He knew she had issues with trust and that those issues weren't necessarily because of him.

But then again, some of those issues _were _because of him.

He understood. He did.

But he also knew it was a copout. It was an excuse to never risk her heart.

He thought he'd gotten through those reservations and those thick self-protective walls of hers, but apparently she'd just been holding her breath to see when he would trip up and fail her.

The realization that she expected him to fail stirred up his latent anger, and he felt almost like another person when a cold calm came over him and painted his words in ice.

"Trust is a decision, Beckett. You _chose_ not to trust me."

Fire sparked in her eyes, and he was at once both relieved to see life coming back to her and indignant that she should think herself wronged by him. But he never could have expected what she said next.

"You mean how _you_ chose not to trust _me_?" Her voice was low, but thick threads of anger pulsed underneath. "You mean like how you're treating me like the goddamn enemy when all I've been trying to do is find something—_anything_—to prove that you didn't do this? You mean like how Ryan and Esposito and I have been busting our asses to solve this case only to find that you've been—and still are—hiding vital information from all of us?"

He opened his mouth to protest, but she cut him off with a violent cut of her hand through the air as her voice escalated.

"You want to talk about trust? How about the fact that you don't trust that I would do everything in my power to get you out of here? You don't trust that I would get to the bottom of this. And you know what? This isn't your first time, either, Castle. Damian Westlake, Mayor Weldon. Every time a case comes up that has to do with someone you care about, your first instinct is _not_ to trust that I won't throw an innocent man behind bars; your first instinct is to protect them from _me_!"

Castle could only stare at Beckett in stunned disbelief as breathing turned heavy from her emotional upheaval.

She couldn't really believe that, could she? She couldn't believe that he thought so little of her?

It was incredulous that she thought that he could think so poorly of her.

It scared him to think that a part of what she said might be right.

They stared at each other for long moments, each caught up in a cloud of frustration and anger, and God, Castle never could have imagined that all these issues had been bogging down their relationship without either of them noticing it.

Beckett sighed, righteous indignation draining out of her as she trailed a hand across the bars. It was only then that he noticed the white gauze wrapped around her right hand, the dark red of her blood standing out in vivid contrast.

"What happened to your hand?" he asked, his concern for her safety a heavy weight in the pit of his stomach.

She shook her head and ignored his question completely. "You know what I learned from you?"

He shook his head, still trying to piece together everything that just didn't make any sense anymore. First she was shamed, and then she was angry. And now she seemed reflective. Determined. It made him nervous because there was no predicting what a determined Beckett would do.

"What?"

The corners of her lips flicked up, but it was a sad smile. "In the end, you always believed. That's why I have to do this. Because Castle? I may have doubted you and even now I'm still fighting those doubts, but you're right. Trust is a decision, and I'm choosing now to believe in you the way you've always believed in me."

It was only then that he noticed she was holding the keys to lockup in her hand.

Anxiety welled up in his chest and almost choked his words.

"Kate, what are you doing?"

Her eyes glinted in the dim lighting.

"I'm getting you out."


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: You all continue to blow me away with your interest in this story. I don't think I've ever gotten over 100 alerts for just one chapter before. Crazy awesome. _

_I'm proud to say that I don't think any of you will have foreseen what I'm about to do, but this chapter might also make some of you hate me. Trust that I know what I'm doing, and yeah, I do take pleasure in being mean sometimes. ;)_

_Speaking of mean, the sneak peek for this episode is pretty darn mean (read: deliciously painful in all the best/worst ways). I used some of the info from that sneak peek in here, so you have been warned._

* * *

Chapter Two

* * *

"Kate, stop. Think about what you're doing. You can't just let me out."

Kate locked her jaw and resolutely refused to look at him, focusing instead on the lock that suddenly blurred in her vision.

Oh, damn. That wasn't the lock blurring. That was the tears in her eyes as she tried to steady her hands.

She grit her teeth. "Yes, I can. Gates hasn't come in yet, and there's not too many people milling about the station. I got a spare uniform you can change into. You know where the back exit is. Nobody ever really goes back there. It shouldn't be too hard to sneak out."

Castle breathed an incredulous laugh. "Kate, do you even hear yourself? You can't do this."

"The _hell_ I can't!" she exclaimed, glaring at the goddamn key that kept missing the goddamn lock. "I'm not going to let you go down for this murder, Castle. Not if I can help it."

"Then do it the right way, Kate! You're going to lose your badge, hell, you're probably going to get arrested for this!"

Kate's eyes flashed, and she slapped a hand against the heavy metal bars of the jail cell in her anger. "Tell me what I'm supposed to do then, Castle. How the hell am I supposed to clear your name if you won't even tell me _where the hell you were_ on Friday night?"

"He was with _me_, Detective. _All_ night."

Kate's blood froze when she heard that voice.

_We better get going or we're gonna be stuck in traffic all night._

_Going?_

_To the Hamptons._

_For the weekend?_

_No, for the summer, actually. So I can stay on top of him while he finishes his book._

Oh God, it hurt. Kate thought she'd gotten over, now that she could see it had been both their faults. Now that it was in the past.

But it wasn't in the past, was it? This was the present.

Kate's body turned to face the newcomer without her permission and just like three years ago, Kate watched with incredulous detachment as _she_ walked toward them with that expression of amiable politeness.

"Gina," Kate breathed her name on a whisper. "He was…with you?"

Black Pawn's publisher merely quirked a perfectly manicured eyebrow at her. "That's what I said, isn't it, Detective?"

Kate couldn't breathe. Flashes of three summers ago and the heartache of watching Castle walk away from her assaulted her in a barrage of images. It was happening all over again.

Except this time was worse, so much worse, because she'd surrendered _everything_ to him.

"Kate, I—"

Gina cut Castle off with a sharp glare. "Rick, don't you think you should wait for a lawyer before you say anything in front of our dear detective?"

Kate bit her lip so hard she thought she might be bleeding. But she didn't care. Anything was better than the tears crowding behind her eyelids and threatening to overwhelm her in a torrent of uncontrollable sobs.

She sucked in a steadying breath and exhaled it with careful control. "Yes, you should wait for a lawyer. Ms. Cowell, if you'll follow me. I need to take your statement."

"Of course."

"Kate, please just listen to me," pleaded Castle from behind the bars.

Kate ignored him and willed her feet to keep moving because the moment she stopped, she would shatter.

And the last people she wanted to break in front of were Richard Castle and his wonderful _ex-wife_.

…

"Gina, what the hell do you think you're doing?" Castle demanded the moment they stepped out of the precinct.

It was nice to be a free man again, but it was a bitter victory. As he'd walked out of the station with Gina at hi side, Esposito had glared at him, Ryan had looked like a kicked puppy, and Kate…she hadn't even glanced at him.

It didn't help that news vans and camera crews had captured his walk of shame for posterity. He'd never really experienced a moment when his fame worked against him, but if ever there was a moment when he regretted his success, this was it.

"Saving your ungrateful ass, apparently," Gina replied with her usual bite.

"Why?"

Gina sighed. "Can we wait until we're not in public before having this discussion? We had enough public spats to last a lifetime when we were married, don't you think?"

Castle fumed inwardly, but he knew that she was right. The last thing any of them needed going public was the fact that Gina had perjured herself in order to get him off the hook.

When they got in the cab, Gina began rattling off the address to his loft, but he stopped her. "Wait. Not the loft."

She stared at him for a long moment, but then eventually shrugged and gave the cabby the address to her office at Black Pawn Publishing instead.

Castle was grateful Gina didn't seem inclined to run her jaw off at him for once, and he turned to watch the never-ending New York traffic out his window. Everyone was just going about their daily lives, while he felt like this was the end of the line for him.

How was it possible for everything to go so wrong in just three days?

…

"Alexis called," Gina stated without preamble once she'd settled into the leather monstrosity she called an office chair. The other décor in her office tended toward modern chic and Castle used to make fun of her attachment to the old relic. He never did figure out the story behind it, never cared enough to ask.

As he reflected on the man he used to be, it made him a little sick to realize how self-centered he'd been.

Castle froze just inside the double doors. "Alexis called _you_?"

"Ugh, close the door."

He did so and sat himself down in the high-backed chair across the oak desk from her.

"There's no need to sound so horrified, Rick. It may surprise you to hear this, but since our—" she gestured between the two them "—latest failure at a relationship, Alexis and I have kept in touch. We don't talk often, but I suppose she didn't know who else to turn to considering the fact that your _dear_ detective was the one who threw you in lockup."

"Don't use that tone to talk about her," he snapped back automatically, a primal protective instinct rising up without his even thinking about it.

Gina lifted an eyebrow in surprise. "Well, gee, I'm sorry. I didn't know you had a thing for women who arrest you." She grimaced distastefully. "Then again, maybe that's not such a surprise."

"She didn't—it's not—damn it, she already thinks I cheated on her. What's she going to think now?"

"If it helps, she also thinks you're a murderer. Wait—cheated on her? You're finally together?"

Castle stood abruptly from his seat, a rush of nervous energy making it impossible to stay still. "Don't you get it? She was going to break me out of prison without even caring about her job or the fact that she was breaking the law for me! And now she thinks that I want you more than I do her. Again!"

"Way to make a girl feel special," she retorted dryly. She leaned back into the engulfing embrace of her chair. "Look, I'm sorry if I caused anymore misunderstandings between the two of you, but one, I didn't know you and Detective Beckett were now an item, and two, I was a little preoccupied with, oh I don't know, getting your ass out of jail. You'd think you'd show some gratitude for that."

Castle expelled a long stream of air and collapsed back into the chair.

Gina was right. She'd risked a hell of a lot for him, and he did owe her thanks.

For that matter…

"Why _did_ you get me out? Why risk it?"

"Rick, our ill-conceived attempts at a romantic relationship were massive failures, but that doesn't mean I don't know you. You may be an immature bastard with a disturbing imagination—"

_Wow. No need to hold back what you _really_ think about me, _he thought.

"—but you're not psychotic enough that you'd actually _kill_ somebody."

Castle scoffed. "You're the first person after Alexis and my mother to believe with such certainty that I didn't commit this murder. Not even Kate…"

Gina watched him for a while, then she glanced away to study her nails with false nonchalance. "It's easy for me to believe. It's always easier for an outsider."

"What do you mean?"

"Rick, you of all people should know that people in relationships are utterly incapable of seeing clearly. There's too much at stake."

"So you're saying that it's _because_ Kate and I are in a relationship that she doesn't believe me? That makes no sense."

"Who said anything about relationships making sense? God knows, ours never did." Gina threw it out offhandedly, but a part of Castle couldn't help but feel a little guilty.

He and Gina had actually been fairly good friends and coworkers before they'd started dating, but that familiarity just hadn't translated well into a healthy relationship. Their marriage had swung between periods of intense passion—a thin line between lust and anger—and ice-cold distance. The problem was that they never did manage to find that balance.

He often made her out to be a nag and bloodthirsty businesswoman without an ounce of remorse, and without a doubt, she wouldn't hesitate to squeeze as much money out of him and his writing as possible, but when it came down to it, her heart was in the right place.

Castle rubbed a hand down his weary face. "Thank you, Gina. I mean it. You didn't have to, but you did."

She rolled her eyes even though he could see her fidgeting uncomfortably at the soberness of his tone. This kind of genuine disclosure wasn't how they operated.

"Yeah yeah yeah. Don't get all mushy on me."

He laughed at that. It was a rusty, choked out noise that sounded foreign to his ears, but it felt like forever since he'd last laughed. He thought he might have even detected Gina's lips twitch upward the slightest bit.

But then nice Gina was quickly shuffled behind Black Pawn's formidable publisher once again as she got down to business. "Paula wants you to lie low for a while. We're not sure which direction the wind is blowing in terms of whether this incident will be good for sales or not, and until we're sure you won't get crucified in the media, your best bet is to just stay out of sight."

Castle scoffed, all humor draining out of him. "Where would I go? It's not like I can just go back to work at the station now."

"Just don't do anything stupid." Gina paused and then added. "Though I don't know why I even bothering saying that to _you_."

…

Castle was halfway back to his loft when his phone rang, Alexis' custom ringtone blaring out _Dad! Dad! Dad! _in the middle of the sidewalk and earning him the glares of fellow pedestrians. He'd opted to walk even though Black Pawn's offices were quite a ways away because he couldn't stand the thought of sitting in a cab.

It was too confined, the bulletproof partition between driver and passenger too reminiscent of the fact that he'd just been released from lockup.

Castle's thumb hesitated over the accept button. He still wasn't sure he was ready to face Alexis and what was certain to be a string of questions. He didn't want to admit to the fact that his closest friends thought him capable of murder. He just wanted to escape from it all.

But he also knew that he couldn't let Alexis go crazy with worry over him.

He took a deep breath to settle himself and answered the phone. "Hey pumpkin."

"Dad! Where are you? Are you okay?" Alexis' voice was fraught with anxiety.

"I'm fine, sweetie. I'm fine. Gina—Gina got me out."

How strange. Out of all the people in his life, Gina ranked among the bottom five of the ones he would have expected to save him.

Alexis mistook his hesitation for censure and scrambled to explain herself. "I'm sorry I called her, Dad. I didn't know what else to do. I tried calling Beckett, but she wouldn't tell me anything and I was so angry at her and I just—"

"Alexis. Calm down. It's okay. You did well."

"Dad, where are you right now? Gram and I are waiting for you at home."

"I—"

Wait. At home?

His brain flashed back to that awful moment when he'd opened his door to Beckett, Esposito, Ryan and a crowd of unis as they served him a search warrant. The bag with the gloves, the barbed wire, and the bloody shirt that they'd found were obviously a plant. That meant whoever was framing him had somehow gotten into the loft without his knowledge.

Oh God, the murderer had a way in.

And now Alexis and his mother were there.

His pulse beat loudly in his ears.

"Alexis, take Gram and get out the loft right now," he commanded, his voice strained as the danger Alexis and his mother were flooded him with urgency.

"Dad, what?"

"Don't ask questions right now. Just get the hell out and check into a hotel or something. Make sure you stay together at all times. Do you understand?"

"I—yes, but—"

"No questions. Not right now. Pack up and get out. No, actually don't bother packing. Just take some cash and credit cards with you. You don't need anything else. Get out. Now."

"Okay, okay. I'm telling Gram right now. Will you meet us somewhere?"

Castle paused and thought about it. If someone was trying to frame him and knew that the ploy had failed, then the murderer might come after Castle himself. No one would be safe around him.

His resolve hardened. "No. I'm sorry, pumpkin, but I can't. Not yet. I have to solve this murder."

"_Dad_!" Alexis protested in horror.

"Whoever this guy is, he's out to get me. And I'll be damned if I don't get him first."

* * *

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_A/N: So...how's that for a twist? Just a short explanation here. The reason I brought Gina back in this fic is twofold: one, I needed to force Beckett to confront her persistent insecurities about Castle and his past. Two, I also needed to force Castle to reflect on why his marriages failed. His first one was pretty obviously mostly Meredith's fault, but I don't think it's as clear cut as to why his second marriage failed. As such, Gina is the perfect vehicle to achieve both goals. __Contrary to popular opinion, Gina might actually be my favorite ex of Castle's. That sounds incredulous because of the whole Season 2 finale thing, but to be fair, that really wasn't her fault. The reason she's my favorite is because there's evidence on the show that she genuinely tried, both during their marriage and when they were dating, to make their family work. That they didn't is more of a compatibility issue than it was a 'who's at fault' issue._

_Also, on a topic, there's some debate about whether her last name is Griffin or Cowell, and it can be argued both ways. I chose Cowell because that's the name that's used in the acknowledgements of the first three Nikki Heat books. Griffin is the name used during 3.12 "Poof! You're Dead" in the newspaper article, but I figured props are more likely to be mistaken than three published novels._

_Anyhow, as always, let me know what you thought! Thanks!_


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: I am so sorry about the delay. I had fully intended to update this every other day, but I finished a chapter and realized that it didn't fit at all with the rest of the story, so I had to scrap it and start all over. Also, I've had other things on my mind. My sister was due to give birth three days ago, but the baby has decided she doesn't want to leave her comfy home yet, so this past week I've been anxiously waiting for my phone to light up to tell me that my sister is in labor, or better yet, that my niece has been born. Suffice to say, looking forward to my new niece making her entrance into this world and anxiously hoping that my sister will have a safe delivery has seriously affected my ability to write Castle-Beckett angst._

_That being said, this story has developed a life of its own, and while I haven't been writing chapters, I've been plotting out events. Obviously, I won't finish this before the episode airs tonight, which I'm sad about because I wanted to incorporate some of my theories to see which one I'm right about, but alas, I won't get that pleasure. So, if you're still reading this, just take this as a spin-off from the episode. I'll probably use stuff in future chapters from the episode itself, but I have a whole different plot worked out for this._

_Once again, thank you for your lovely reviews/favorites/alerts, and I'm sorry I haven't responded to everyone individually. _

* * *

Chapter Three

* * *

The universe was mocking her.

Kate stood transfixed by the television screen in front of her, just one among several sets enticing passers-by to enter the electronics store. Pedestrians shot her dirty looks when they were forced to go around her, but she couldn't tear her eyes away from the figures on the screen and the scrolling yellow banner screaming, "Breaking news."

_"Richard Castle, bestselling mystery novelist with thirty bestsellers to date, including the popular Derrick Storm series and the recently released, _Frozen Heat, _was arrested yesterday for the brutal murder of twenty-nine-year-old, Tessa Horton. In a strange ritualistic killing reminiscent of one of Castle's own fictions, Horton was found bound to her ceiling by what appears to be barbed wire and had a symbol carved into her forehead. Other details have not been made public by the NYPD._

_"Mr. Castle was released this morning, and though the details behind his release are unclear, he was seen exiting the station side-by-side with his publisher and ex-wife, Gina Cowell. Perhaps the literary duo are trying to once again rekindle their relationship, something they'd tried three years ago when it came to an end after a public dispute at Le Cirque. For Mr. Castle's sake, one would certainly hope that third time certainly is the charm."_

Shaking off the numbing shackles that chained her feet to the concrete, Kate forced herself to move past the unknowingly mocking newscast. But everywhere she looked was a reminder that the world took perverse pleasure in knocking her down every time she was poised at the doorstep of happiness.

Apparently, every single electronics store available to mankind had decided to migrate into her path, and every single one was tuned in to the breaking news of bestselling novelist Richard Castle being cleared of charges and released into the loving arms of his publisher, ex-wife, ex-girlfriend, and apparent current lover.

Entertainment media had already gotten their grubby hands on the story, and many insinuated at the delightful poetry of Richard Castle's detective muse arresting him for murder.

In the years she'd been a detective, Beckett had enjoyed the general public's favorable impression of her—no small part in thanks to Castle and his books, she had to admit—but now that she was cast as the villain in this piece…It just made everything hurt even worse.

There it was broadcast for the world to see: unjust arrest of literary darling Richard Castle by his ungrateful muse and his subsequent rescue by his loyal publisher, even if they did have a tumultuous personal relationship. It was romantic, actually.

It just made Kate feel sick.

Kate couldn't help but take note of the fact that the reason her shame was made public was her own fault. She'd arrested him before all the evidence had come to light, and so this was to be her retribution. To watch as the name of the man she'd finally allowed herself to love completely be linked irrevocably with that of another woman.

It was a joke. A cruel, cruel joke in which she'll forever be the punch-line.

She scoffed at herself.

God, Castle's flair for melodrama had really rubbed off on her, hadn't it?

He was just another man, she tried to convince herself, but even as she repeated it to herself like a life-saving mantra, she knew it was a lie.

Castle wasn't just another man. He was her partner and best friend. He was _it_ for her, her one-and-done, and oh god, this was one of the reasons she'd hesitated so long, wasn't it? So that she could avoid this kind of earth-shattering heart-break?

With a weary sigh, she looked up to find that she'd somehow made it all the way to the front of Castle's building.

Her subconscious was more masochistic than she gave it credit for.

Should she go up to see him? What if Gina was still with him? What would she even say to him?

Oh hey, sorry I thought you were a murderer and a cheater—oh wait, you are.

Yeah, that'd go over real well.

Oh god, what if Alexis was the one to open the door? The last time she'd spoken to Castle's daughter, Alexis had been begging Kate to tell the girl something—anything—about her father's status, and Kate hadn't been able to tell her anything beyond a weak _we're trying to find the answers._ Kate knew that by the end of that call, Alexis had hated her more than just a little. Kate hadn't had a choice in what she'd done, but even now there was a sick taste in her mouth when she thought about the trust she'd betrayed.

Kate took an unconscious step toward the front door, but she stopped when she realized what she was doing.

She still had a murder to solve. As for Castle and everything else threatening to upend her equilibrium... Well she could figure it out after this bastard was caught.

A distant part of her warned her that she was running again, but Kate ignored it. Maybe she was running, but right now, she honestly just could not deal with everything. She had to focus her attention on solving this damn thing. There'd be plenty of time to break afterwards.

She turned away but before she'd taken a step, she saw Ryan running up to her, a wild look in his eyes and his carefully parted hair a wild mess.

"Ryan, what are you doing here?"

"I found something. On the surveillance video," he said between panted breaths.

The detective in Beckett stood up at once at the possibility of a break in the case. "What did you find?"

Ryan's eyes were bright with exhilaration. "Heels. The man in the video had heels on his shoes. Why the hell would he wear heels unless—"

"—he was pretending to be taller than he was," Kate finished, the hot thrum of exhilaration from getting one step closer to her prey zipping through her body.

"The saleswoman at the jewelry store described our perp as being about six-one, six-two, but if our guy was wearing heels, then he must be only about five-ten, five-eleven. It couldn't have been Castle."

"The son of a bitch was purposefully framing Castle. Which means that his goal isn't just murder; it's to take down Castle."

Ryan nodded. "That's why I'm here. I tried calling Castle about a half dozen times, but he hasn't answered."

Beckett spun around and barely gave the doorman a glance as she pushed through the doors and strode into the elevator without a moment's hesitation. The ride up seemed interminable with both detectives on edge. By the time the doors slid open and Beckett stood in front of Castle's door, she could barely breathe through the veil of worry that fogged her mind.

"Castle, open the damn door!" she called as she rapped sharply on the thick slab of wood.

When they didn't hear any movement on the other side, Kate dug out her phone and stared at it like it was a monster.

So much for avoiding confrontation with his family.

She tried Martha first.

Castle's mother hadn't been happy—to say the least—when they'd dragged Castle out of their home in cuffs, but at least she could be relied upon to be civil, even if she thought Kate was possibly the worst girlfriend in existence.

"Detective Beckett," came Martha's voice on the other end. "What can I do for you?"

Kate's heart squeezed painfully. She hadn't been _Detective Beckett _to Martha in a long time.

Kate took a deep breath and prayed that her voice wouldn't crack. "Martha, do you know where Castle is?"

"One would think that you would know better than I, Detective."

Kate winced at the not undeserved dig. She turned her body away from Ryan, whom she noticed had courteously walked a good distance away. The hallway wasn't large enough that he couldn't hear her conversation, but she appreciated his thoughtfulness.

"Please, Martha."

There was a brief pause and what seemed like Alexis whispering furiously on the other end. When Martha replied, it was with a deep weariness that contradicted everything Kate knew about the vivacious actress. "I wish I could help. I really do. But I don't know where he is."

"It's not—" Kate's voice caught in a messy tangle of emotion and she had to try again. "You're not just saying that because he doesn't want to see me?"

She must have failed miserably at keeping the despair out of her voice because Martha sighed heavily. "Oh, kiddo. You kids are enough to give this old woman a few more grey hairs. Richard called us to tell us to get out of the loft and to stay elsewhere for a while. It seems that he's afraid whoever has framed him will come after us next."

"And Castle didn't say he was going to meet you somewhere?"

"Only that he's going to get whoever's after him first."

Kate's heart stopped. The idiot. The stupid, stupid idiot. He was going to get himself killed.

"Kate, I don't claim to understand what's happening, but I do know that the two of you still care for each other deeply. Bring him home safe. Please."

"I'll do whatever it takes," Kate promised without any hesitation.

"Thank you, darling." Martha paused, and then said, "You should come over for dinner after this whole mess is over. We haven't had a family dinner since you've been together."

Kate wanted to both laugh and cry. She didn't know how Martha could be so forgiving, not when the offense Beckett had committed was so grievous. Of course, Martha also didn't know that Castle had been seeing his ex-wife on the side, but that was another mess that Beckett couldn't deal with right now.

All she could give Martha was a choked out, "When this is over."

Kate ended the call and had to take several deep breaths to settle herself before she decided on her next move.

She had Gina's phone number from the few occasions when the publisher had called Beckett to bug Castle about the chapters he owed her, but this was possibly the worst thing anybody could ask of Kate at this moment. To call the woman Castle had an affair with for her help?

God, just kill her now.

But it wasn't like Kate had any other choice.

Beckett found Gina's number in her contact list and pressed call before she could second-guess herself.

Gina answered on the second ring, her tone bored and edged with condescension. "Detective Beckett. I wasn't expecting to hear from you. Did I leave something out in my statement?"

Beckett gritted her teeth. "No. Where's Castle?"

Gina huffed a little laugh. "Why? Do you have another murder you want to arrest him for?"

The hot press of tears behind her eyelids made it near impossible to breathe and Beckett stared resolutely at the elegant, mahogany finish of Castle's door. She wasn't going to cry. She wasn't.

She begged her voice to stay steady. "Damn it, whatever it is you want, you win, okay? This isn't some stupid joke. Castle is in danger and I need to know where he is. Now."

There was a long pause at the other end, and when Gina spoke again, her voice was softer and held a note of apology to it.

Just great. Now even _Gina _pitied her.

"He left my office about ten minutes ago. I just assumed he went back to the loft since that's where Alexis said she was meeting him when she called me."

Kate didn't know why that was such a sucker punch to know that Alexis had called Gina. Where else was the teen supposed to turn when she thought Beckett only seemed interested in keeping her dad locked behind bars?

She shoved the hurt in the corner of her mind where all the other messy emotions from this case were being ignored. "He didn't say anything else to you?"

"No. I'm sorry."

Kate thanked Gina for the information, but inside, her mind was reeling. Not for the first time this case, Kate realized that she didn't know Castle as well as he knew her. She had absolutely no idea where he would go if he thought he was in danger.

Well, no. Before this, he probably would have come to her, but after this huge mess? She had no clue.

Castle said once that he thought she was a mystery he would never solve, but increasingly she was coming to see that he was the enigma, not her.

On the other end of the phone, Kate could hear Gina's secretary telling her she had a potential client there to see her.

"I'll let you get back to work, then," Beckett said.

She made to end the call, but Gina stopped her. "Wait, Detective Beckett. Rick and I...neither of us are cheaters. I just…thought you should know."

Gina hung up and left Beckett wondering what she was supposed to do with that piece of information.

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_A/N: Thanks for reading, and my prayers go out to everyone who'll be affected by Hurricane Sandy. I wish you all the best!_


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